SDI > Conflict
To better understand how a conflict works it can be of value to see that it has a certain sequence. This conflict sequence illustrates the method for defending your motivational value system to be able to return to your valued relating style. It is the predictable, resulting development of strength when you are faced with a conflict or with resistance. This sequence has three different stages.
Like a vechicle in conflict
It can be illustrated as a vehicle that is driving on level ground and then comes to a hill, which now obstructs the vehicles journey towards the goal. To be able to handle the new situation, for example a brewing conflict, you shift gears to a lower gear.
This is often enougt to be able to continue the journey, but if the incline increases and the new gear is not enough for the incline in question, you have to shift again to a yet lower gear.
If the incline continues to increase and the now chosen gear still is not right for this part of the hill, you probably have to chose yet another lower gear.
If the inclince would then continue to increase even more and this final gear is not sufficient, then the engine of the vechicle finally stalls.
We behave in a similar way in conflict
When we defend our selves and our value system we behave in a similar way as the vechicle and develop a sequential behaviour. The purpose of the conflict sequence is:
- To defend the right to act consistently based on your motivational value system.
- To return to the valued relating style.
Flags that create opportunities
When members of a group work together they ”flag” their experience of that there is not enough respect for the respective motivational value system which includes different causes for conflict.
These ”flags” can be interpreted as blind spots that have been overlooked or missed in the situation or relationship. They should therefore be paid attention to for example in conflict management and be made useful since this give the opportunity to:
- appreciate different contributions,
- increase self esteem,
- create synergism,
- increase objectivity and
- make more creative and effective decisions.